Romeo and Juliet may have been star-crossed lovers, but my husband and I are moon-crossed. When the Jewish month of Kislev aligns with December and Hanukkah and Christmas coincide we have our share of interwoven plot lines. At least in our household the combined stress has little to do with religious differences and much to do with coordinating interleaved schedules, wearing a red sweater to the nativity pageant and a blue top for Hanukkah dinner or putting the Christmas candles in the advent wreath and Hanukkah candles in the menorah. Once I did purchase non-standard menorah candles and so I didn’t look too chagrined last week when the Pier 1 clerk suggested their 3” by 6” red candles when I asked if she had menorah candles. And of course, the most stressful and often entertaining events are those that one spouse approaches from a new angle never having had to wrestle a tree into a stand or cook a tender brisket.
Then there’s simply scheduling. This weekend the plan was Friday night Dickens reading in town, Saturday morning pageant rehearsal, Saturday afternoon make Hanukkah dessert, Saturday evening caroling, Sunday morning church, then home in time to set the Hanukkah table and make a brisket before heading out for the annual nativity pageant to return home for latke-making and a festive Hanukkah dinner. Mother Nature however trumped both religions with a snowstorm that put her traditional shoveling and fort building festivities at the forefront.
The next day the dining room was transformed from blue to red with a few changes in table linens and candles in preparation for 10 arriving for Christmas Eve followed by 20 for Christmas Day. The menorah retained its prominent location for nightly lighting (will we light the menorah before or after Christmas Eve service?).
Not unlike many Jewish boys, my husband’s parents reside in Florida in the winter where we plan to join them within 48 hours of unwrapping our Christmas gifts. After cleaning up our Christmas celebration, wrapping Hanukkah presents and packing suitcases with alacrity we hope to make the airplane on time.
I look forward to the secular tradition of New Year’s Eve without any celebration whatsoever.
Thanksgiving Basics
A few basic principles to help out those who are new to hosting Thanksgiving and to provide me with a checklist so next year I can sleep in past 8 am on Friday without visions of food poisoning bumping through my dreams.
1. Put the turkey in to cook right side up. Okay, some recipes will specify that cooking the turkey upside down yields more juicy meat. So it’s fine to cook your turkey upside down as long as you are aware of what you’re doing and actually take the temperature in the topside and carve the turkey from the top.
So how do you know if the turkey is upside down? If the turkey appears to have the proportions of a runway model, or as if it’s slender middle would be worthy of a crop-top, then it’s likely upside down. A right side up turkey looks like a turkey a Jewish grandmother can be proud of.
2. If you make the error of taking the temperature of the turkey upside down and erroneously think the breast meat has reached 180 degrees, then when you turn the turkey over and start carving into undercooked meat, stop! Do not feed your in-laws undercooked meat. If in doubt, throw the meat away, continue cooking if possible (I’ll let you be the judge) or feed it to your neighbor’s nightly howling cat.
3. Remember to light the candles on the dining room table before calling the guests. Candles can serve as on the spot food warmers for side dishes that cooled waiting for the turkey to be re-cooked.
4. Purchase dependable, pre-made desserts that can be quickly served without scrambling back to the kitchen to whip up a soufflé. Fortunately my husband is beyond patient with my random suggestions to add special accents to our holidays, for instance, giving him a recipe for individual pumpkin soufflés requiring no fewer than 25 steps, 12 kitchen utensils and 3 distinct major appliances. Next year, pie, from the dependable pie place.
5. Turkey soup is not basic regardless of what your mom says. If you haven’t mastered cooking a turkey, skip saving the carcass for tempting turkey soup despite your fond memories of a savory soup for Friday lunches as a child. For starters it’s messy. Plus freezing the broth on your back stoop to let the fat rise overnight can lure in the neighborhood carnivores.
6. Don’t miss trash day! So there you are, half asleep Friday morning, dreaming contentedly that no one woke up with food poisoning in the middle of the night and wondering why a plane is buzzing your house. That’s not a plane, it’s the trash truck. Quickly run to the front door in your pjs and bare feet, flag the driver to wait a moment, and then send the pumpkin soufflé man scurrying for the trash barrel while you quickly tie the final kitchen trash bag and run barefoot across the frost-covered lawn much to the amusement of neighbors peeking through their windows.
1. Put the turkey in to cook right side up. Okay, some recipes will specify that cooking the turkey upside down yields more juicy meat. So it’s fine to cook your turkey upside down as long as you are aware of what you’re doing and actually take the temperature in the topside and carve the turkey from the top.
So how do you know if the turkey is upside down? If the turkey appears to have the proportions of a runway model, or as if it’s slender middle would be worthy of a crop-top, then it’s likely upside down. A right side up turkey looks like a turkey a Jewish grandmother can be proud of.
2. If you make the error of taking the temperature of the turkey upside down and erroneously think the breast meat has reached 180 degrees, then when you turn the turkey over and start carving into undercooked meat, stop! Do not feed your in-laws undercooked meat. If in doubt, throw the meat away, continue cooking if possible (I’ll let you be the judge) or feed it to your neighbor’s nightly howling cat.
3. Remember to light the candles on the dining room table before calling the guests. Candles can serve as on the spot food warmers for side dishes that cooled waiting for the turkey to be re-cooked.
4. Purchase dependable, pre-made desserts that can be quickly served without scrambling back to the kitchen to whip up a soufflé. Fortunately my husband is beyond patient with my random suggestions to add special accents to our holidays, for instance, giving him a recipe for individual pumpkin soufflés requiring no fewer than 25 steps, 12 kitchen utensils and 3 distinct major appliances. Next year, pie, from the dependable pie place.
5. Turkey soup is not basic regardless of what your mom says. If you haven’t mastered cooking a turkey, skip saving the carcass for tempting turkey soup despite your fond memories of a savory soup for Friday lunches as a child. For starters it’s messy. Plus freezing the broth on your back stoop to let the fat rise overnight can lure in the neighborhood carnivores.
6. Don’t miss trash day! So there you are, half asleep Friday morning, dreaming contentedly that no one woke up with food poisoning in the middle of the night and wondering why a plane is buzzing your house. That’s not a plane, it’s the trash truck. Quickly run to the front door in your pjs and bare feet, flag the driver to wait a moment, and then send the pumpkin soufflé man scurrying for the trash barrel while you quickly tie the final kitchen trash bag and run barefoot across the frost-covered lawn much to the amusement of neighbors peeking through their windows.
Emotional Sounds and Sights Surrounding Election Night Speakers
What will I remember from this historic election when I was one out of nearly 120 million U.S. citizens who cast votes for President of the United States? I will remember the emotional outpouring by the supporters and candidates. I heard sentiments filled with warmth and hope, and displays of meanness, an emotional spectrum that both made me concerned about reactions to the victory and gave me hope in the collective pride of U.S. citizens.
I watched and listened as McCain gave his concession speech and was saddened by the loud booing from the crowd when Barak Obama’s name was mentioned. The booing rose to a crescendo a second time when Senator McCain remarked that the people had decided that “Senator Obama and my old friend Senator Joe Biden should have the honor of leading us for the next four years.” What a divisive and shameful reaction in the midst of a gracious speech.
I was also struck by McCain’s offer of bland thanks to Governor Sarah Palin, completely devoid of any warmth and sentiment. He acknowledged that she is an impressive new voice. I think no one would argue with that statement which carries both a positive and negative connotation. It reminded me of a wedding thank you I wrote for a gift I truly didn’t appreciate, but still wanted to express my thanks for the thought of good wishes. Likewise, McCain’s weak hug of Palin following his speech looked more like an obligatory pat on the back than an embrace of appreciation. And I was saddened to hear the loudest cheers during McCain’s speech when he mentioned Palin, not when he recognized America’s greatness or patriotism or coming together as a country.
Thankfully, my low following McCain’s concession speech was uplifted by the passionate speech and euphoric crowd support during Barak Obama’s acceptance speech. As a spouse and a mom, I was overcome with emotion when Obama ardently expressed his love for his wife saying, “I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years, the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation’s next first lady, Michelle Obama.” My emotions swelled as he called upon each and every American to look not only after ourselves, but each other. He will work with us and for us to improve the lives of all Americans, and in turn, I believe of many around the world. I will remember the emotion in Obama’s face of thanksgiving for support of a country, how his smile was tinged with the emotional gratitude to so many who worked with him and who believed in him and who ultimately voted for Barak Obama to be the 44th President of the United States of America.
I watched and listened as McCain gave his concession speech and was saddened by the loud booing from the crowd when Barak Obama’s name was mentioned. The booing rose to a crescendo a second time when Senator McCain remarked that the people had decided that “Senator Obama and my old friend Senator Joe Biden should have the honor of leading us for the next four years.” What a divisive and shameful reaction in the midst of a gracious speech.
I was also struck by McCain’s offer of bland thanks to Governor Sarah Palin, completely devoid of any warmth and sentiment. He acknowledged that she is an impressive new voice. I think no one would argue with that statement which carries both a positive and negative connotation. It reminded me of a wedding thank you I wrote for a gift I truly didn’t appreciate, but still wanted to express my thanks for the thought of good wishes. Likewise, McCain’s weak hug of Palin following his speech looked more like an obligatory pat on the back than an embrace of appreciation. And I was saddened to hear the loudest cheers during McCain’s speech when he mentioned Palin, not when he recognized America’s greatness or patriotism or coming together as a country.
Thankfully, my low following McCain’s concession speech was uplifted by the passionate speech and euphoric crowd support during Barak Obama’s acceptance speech. As a spouse and a mom, I was overcome with emotion when Obama ardently expressed his love for his wife saying, “I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years, the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation’s next first lady, Michelle Obama.” My emotions swelled as he called upon each and every American to look not only after ourselves, but each other. He will work with us and for us to improve the lives of all Americans, and in turn, I believe of many around the world. I will remember the emotion in Obama’s face of thanksgiving for support of a country, how his smile was tinged with the emotional gratitude to so many who worked with him and who believed in him and who ultimately voted for Barak Obama to be the 44th President of the United States of America.
Voting on Election Day 2008
Contrary to all of the news outlets highlighting the long poll lines around the country, voting in my suburban hometown today ran outstandingly smoothly. The balmy, dry weather certainly helped to entice people outside and to the polls, so it appeared that our turnout would dwarf previous election days. Yet the polls were a model of efficiency. No traffic backups, no lines to get in to vote, no lines to receive a ballot.
As an additional benefit, the gathering was collegial and almost festive. While I imagine that the votes in our town are likely pretty evenly split between Obama and McCain, neighbors, friends and colleagues greeted one another warmly and many stopped to chat inside and outside of the polling place, regardless of political affiliation.
Watching the national news, I am shocked at the ridiculously long lines as so many polling places. While we had a steady stream of cars driving in and voters walking inside, I only waited less than one minute for one person in front of me to state her street name before being handed a ballot. I had a choice of 14 or empty ‘booths’ in which to mark my ballot—we fill in bubbles with a black marker (provided) pretty much like a standardized test. Then I checked out, inserted my ballot into the scanner and departed, okay, with a multitude of conversations along the way, but otherwise no delays. I wonder whether our suburban location has a better ratio of voting booths and volunteers to voters, or whether our scanned paper ballots are a more efficient means of voting.
I took my daughter with me to vote on this historic day. I filled in the bubble for president and she noted that I had left a small white gap. So she helped to ensure all the bubbles were properly completed! Many parents were at the polls with their children alongside. I wonder if 50 years from now, those pre-teens will look back and vaguely recall being taken to vote for president in 2008. What elements will stand out most strongly in my daughter’s memory? The positive and united feeling in the air? A small white bubble being filled in black? A piece of paper sliding into a scanner and the counter ticking from 1250 to 1251? As a community we are united, individually each one of us is significant. I am proud to be a citizen of this country and embrace the positive feeling shared among disparate voters today despite the challenges we face collectively and independently.
As an additional benefit, the gathering was collegial and almost festive. While I imagine that the votes in our town are likely pretty evenly split between Obama and McCain, neighbors, friends and colleagues greeted one another warmly and many stopped to chat inside and outside of the polling place, regardless of political affiliation.
Watching the national news, I am shocked at the ridiculously long lines as so many polling places. While we had a steady stream of cars driving in and voters walking inside, I only waited less than one minute for one person in front of me to state her street name before being handed a ballot. I had a choice of 14 or empty ‘booths’ in which to mark my ballot—we fill in bubbles with a black marker (provided) pretty much like a standardized test. Then I checked out, inserted my ballot into the scanner and departed, okay, with a multitude of conversations along the way, but otherwise no delays. I wonder whether our suburban location has a better ratio of voting booths and volunteers to voters, or whether our scanned paper ballots are a more efficient means of voting.
I took my daughter with me to vote on this historic day. I filled in the bubble for president and she noted that I had left a small white gap. So she helped to ensure all the bubbles were properly completed! Many parents were at the polls with their children alongside. I wonder if 50 years from now, those pre-teens will look back and vaguely recall being taken to vote for president in 2008. What elements will stand out most strongly in my daughter’s memory? The positive and united feeling in the air? A small white bubble being filled in black? A piece of paper sliding into a scanner and the counter ticking from 1250 to 1251? As a community we are united, individually each one of us is significant. I am proud to be a citizen of this country and embrace the positive feeling shared among disparate voters today despite the challenges we face collectively and independently.
Fear and Greed
On the same day that Alan Greenspan voiced his error in presuming that the self-interests of organizations were “best capable of protecting their own shareholders and their equity in the firms,” my local paper’s headline story revolved around the fear and greed of two feuding neighbors. Clearly the basic human attributes of fear and greed (along with love, compassion, envy and lust to name just a few) have directed the actions of individuals over the millennia. How could Greenspan, even with his Libertarian viewpoint, have truly expected a corporate entity to behave in a monolithic fashion? Regardless of accounting principles that refer to an entity as a single organization, businesses are made up of individual humans, each motivated by his or her own compass of fear, greed, envy, love, compassion and a multitude of other human characteristics.
In my town, one family has alleged that their neighbors have created a campaign of fear with the goal of stopping opposition to their home expansion plans (i.e. greed). Not only is it unsurprising that this atrocious behavior takes place across America, but it is also not surprising that this would be the lead headline in a week in which the markets are plummeting and the presidential election is only 2 weeks away. Humans not only perpetuate fear and greed, but they enjoy hearing about the success and failures of others’ fear and greed. Our hometown editor is aware of this basic truism, how could Greenspan have missed this basic tenet of human nature? Twenty years ago Tom Wolfe, in Bonfire of the Vanities, created a fictionalized best seller based upon the greed and fear of Wall Street individuals. Perhaps Greenspan had no time to read Bonfire of the Vanities, or even his local newspaper, but surely he was not so isolated as to not have witnessed the powerful motivation of greed in action. If only Greenspan had focused on psychology along with his economics courses.
In my town, one family has alleged that their neighbors have created a campaign of fear with the goal of stopping opposition to their home expansion plans (i.e. greed). Not only is it unsurprising that this atrocious behavior takes place across America, but it is also not surprising that this would be the lead headline in a week in which the markets are plummeting and the presidential election is only 2 weeks away. Humans not only perpetuate fear and greed, but they enjoy hearing about the success and failures of others’ fear and greed. Our hometown editor is aware of this basic truism, how could Greenspan have missed this basic tenet of human nature? Twenty years ago Tom Wolfe, in Bonfire of the Vanities, created a fictionalized best seller based upon the greed and fear of Wall Street individuals. Perhaps Greenspan had no time to read Bonfire of the Vanities, or even his local newspaper, but surely he was not so isolated as to not have witnessed the powerful motivation of greed in action. If only Greenspan had focused on psychology along with his economics courses.
Teenage Eye Rolls
An unexpected advantage of having a teenager in the house is that I have all of my potentially embarrassing actions pointed out to me in real time, giving me the opportunity to immediately evaluate my behavior and see what needs tweaking as I travel the road to the holy grail of parental perfection. Using the frequent eye rolls and not too subtle sighs as my scorecard, I realize I have barely begun my journey. Sometimes, especially in a crowd, I get the very slight, but ever purposeful double eyebrow raise.
How could I have been so indecisive about selecting a parking space? Why did I think it necessary to strike up a conversation with a stranger at her school? Why would I walk through the side entrance when everyone else used the front entrance? And I certainly wouldn't stop a utility worker to ask directions, now would I? Out of the four, I decided that perhaps I hadn't needed to fret over the choice of parking spots and next time I'll try to be more decisive. That was valuable input. The other critiques I let pass without comment, or with only minimal comment as in "see this entrance is equally effective."
All of the unsolicited input is more than counterbalanced by the times when it is just the two of us and we enjoy a shared moment of joyous laughter or both reach for the radio dial to turn up a favorite song.
Of course I can hear it now, "you did not just post that on the internet!".
How could I have been so indecisive about selecting a parking space? Why did I think it necessary to strike up a conversation with a stranger at her school? Why would I walk through the side entrance when everyone else used the front entrance? And I certainly wouldn't stop a utility worker to ask directions, now would I? Out of the four, I decided that perhaps I hadn't needed to fret over the choice of parking spots and next time I'll try to be more decisive. That was valuable input. The other critiques I let pass without comment, or with only minimal comment as in "see this entrance is equally effective."
All of the unsolicited input is more than counterbalanced by the times when it is just the two of us and we enjoy a shared moment of joyous laughter or both reach for the radio dial to turn up a favorite song.
Of course I can hear it now, "you did not just post that on the internet!".
Olympic and Presidential Fantasies
Where are the Olympics when we need them? I’d even take a good Red Sox-Yankees pennant race over the tension of wondering how the November presidential election will turn out, not to mention the endless commentary I can expect over the next 2+ months. Or possibly 3 months if we repeat our road trip to the Supreme Court. At least Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will have plenty of material to offer up for entertainment.
So I will go back to fantasizing about the Olympics even if I need to wait for 4 more years to fulfill my Olympic dreams. As a child I idolized Cathy Rigby—‘Cath’ as my sister would use to taunt me while I tumbled on our front lawn. Actually, more often on my neighbor’s front lawn so I could avoid the rampant Chestnut burrs across my front lawn. I imagined myself swinging around the uneven bars, flipping on the beam, landing each dismount without a wobble.
Many years later, here I am still fantasizing about excelling at the Olympics. Like a mid-life career change, however, my fantasies have shifted. Now I imagine orchestrating a fantastic technical presentation, with fireworks and music and performers and lights and color and illusions and more performers all mixing into one stupendous visual extravaganza. Oh, wait, I think that was done. I was in awe. My whole family was in awe at both the technical feat and the human triumph. Despite the cover-ups, the Opening Ceremony was no less mystical and inspiring. Perhaps our presidential hopefuls and their cadres of staffers and supporters will align in perfectly concentric circles while we watch in anticipation each unifying step. My fantasies know no bounds.
So I will go back to fantasizing about the Olympics even if I need to wait for 4 more years to fulfill my Olympic dreams. As a child I idolized Cathy Rigby—‘Cath’ as my sister would use to taunt me while I tumbled on our front lawn. Actually, more often on my neighbor’s front lawn so I could avoid the rampant Chestnut burrs across my front lawn. I imagined myself swinging around the uneven bars, flipping on the beam, landing each dismount without a wobble.
Many years later, here I am still fantasizing about excelling at the Olympics. Like a mid-life career change, however, my fantasies have shifted. Now I imagine orchestrating a fantastic technical presentation, with fireworks and music and performers and lights and color and illusions and more performers all mixing into one stupendous visual extravaganza. Oh, wait, I think that was done. I was in awe. My whole family was in awe at both the technical feat and the human triumph. Despite the cover-ups, the Opening Ceremony was no less mystical and inspiring. Perhaps our presidential hopefuls and their cadres of staffers and supporters will align in perfectly concentric circles while we watch in anticipation each unifying step. My fantasies know no bounds.
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