College Visiting Better than Bearable

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College visiting can be better than bearable with only a modicum of advance planning. Keeping the basics managed—hunger, timing and minimizing embarrassing moments – can turn an average college trip into one that’s a lot of fun and memorable for all the right reasons.

1. Bring Snacks! Sure, you thought once your kids were out of preschool you would no longer be packing snacks for car trips. Well, when you’re running late for the college tour, or are lost in a new city, or stuck in traffic, it’s great to be able to brighten the mood with a quick snack. Find a small cooler and pack a few items that will last if they end up in the car overnight—apples, nuts, pretzels and definitely a few water bottles.

2. Heading into a new city with unknown traffic patterns is probably not a good time to have you student driver practice driving.

3. Trust the admissions office directions over your GPS—you never know when there’s a Grand Prix in town that the admissions office will know to direct you around while your faithful GPS will blindly lead you directly into traffic.

4. Yet don’t always trust the admissions office on parking. Generally their parking lot is closest, but also priciest. Street parking can be an option, but see how long the meters last. Getting a ticket while college visiting is probably not going to improve the mood in the car.

5. Remember that 5 minutes early is on time. It takes time to get through all the stoplights, it takes time to park, it takes time to ask directions to the admissions office, it takes time to walk. Add in plenty of time and keep a book handy if you arrive early.

6. Note taking may seem a bit excessive, but after seeing even three schools, the trips and tips will start to blend. Keep a small notebook and pen visible just in case your student has the urge to reach for it during the info session.

7. While everyone suggests eating on campus and talking to students to get the vibe, sometimes it’s easier to eat on campus and eavesdrop on the nearby diners. Not only may your child find it less embarrassing, you also may hear more honest commentary.

8. Suggest that your student create a playlist in advance and then let him listen to it in lieu of bombarding him with “so what did you think of that school?”

9. Most importantly—plan time to do other things beyond visiting colleges—see how many ice cream stands you can discover and enjoy, go up the Washington Monument (well, once it’s repaired), find a corn maze to visit. Have fun!

And a couple of suggestions to pass on to your students:

• Ask your student tour guide where else he or she applied to college whether you’re still looking to expand your colleges under consideration or you simply need external validation of your choices.
• Even if the reason you went to visit Macalester was because you had never been to Minnesota, you don’t need to put that on your application.

Pirate Guidelines for Parents of Students Adrift Among College Applications

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As I stepped into the unknown (at least to me) territory of guiding a high school senior through the college application process, I felt like Elizabeth Turner as she boarded the Black Pearl—the college application process was more about guidelines than rules. I was fortunate enough to be offered two guidelines from people who had previously boarded the college convoy. I pass both along here to anyone else who faces, with perhaps some trepidation, the prospect of figuring out the college application process from a parent’s perspective.

First, as a parent, you can take on multiple roles in the college process. At one end of the spectrum a parent can sit back and let the student manage everything, which can be either completely freeing or entirely impossible. At the other end the mother so excessively edits her child’s essays that the essays beautifully reflect the views and perspective of a perimenopausal woman trying to recapture her youth. Ideally I hoped to find a role somewhere in the middle of this tightrope, or as it sometimes feels, a pirate's plank, presuming of course that I could keep my balance.

A good friend, who was a recent empty nester with 3 children successfully enrolled in college, suggested taking on the role of an administrator. As she described it, an administrator can type, mail applications, edit grammar, maintain critical calendar reminders, even chauffeur to college visits. An administrator does not write essays, suggest topics, select colleges, compare prospective college experiences or write questions for school visits. And as my friend clearly stated, an administrator has pre-determined work hours. Work hours may be negotiated, but generally should be set in advance, so if the student would like to have an essay reviewed, said essay would need to be completed before 11pm on the date the application is due. As with any good administrator/employer relationship, the job requirements should be negotiated in advance. Only time and my children will tell whether I am successful in meeting my targeted goals.

The second piece of advice came from a college admissions officer trying to win over the students in attendance. He suggested that college discussions between parents and students be limited to 5 to 7 pm on Sunday. During that time parents could ask any questions on their minds and offer their well-intended advice on the college application process. The remainder of the week, the college application process would be off limits for family conversations.

As with the first suggestion, only time and my children will tell how well I adhere to this rule. Yes, like the Pirates’ Code these are more guidelines than actual rules. Welcome aboard the College Convoy, Miss Turner.