College Tours: The Less Serious Side

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College tours are a rite of passage for juniors and seniors in high school and their families as post high school plans are contemplated. While some look forward to these visits, others may be a bit more wary, or like me, teary that 17 years could have passed so quickly. If you’re headed to campus visits this spring and summer, here are a few hints to keep in mind.

1. If it’s a chilly day, follow the Hawaiian tour guide—she is certain to go inside each building on the tour rather than stand outside in the cold.
2. Visitor parking lots are for those without parking karma and a pocket full of quarters. On street parking near city campuses is often closer, easier to find and less expensive than the so-called visitor lots as long as you feed the meter between the information session and your tour.
3. Before being impressed that your child sat right up front in the information session, ask if she remembered her glasses.
4. The school web site, however poorly organized has the college facts—but apparently not all parents are internet savy and will often ask questions like, "how many students go to school here?" Teen eye rolls are appropriate in these situations.
5. Every tour guide is asked, “Why did you choose this college?”
6. If the only two colleges your tour guide applied to were the University of Michigan and Wesleyan, you may realize that your child isn’t the only one who isn’t focusing on a college type.
7. Don’t worry, not everyone steps onto a campus and “just knows” that it is the right or wrong college.
8. Try not to laugh out loud or nudge your child when the tour guide explains that the circulating library isn’t so named because it revolves.
9. Violating all of the campus superstitions—stepping on the plaque in the middle of the quad, walking through the wrought iron gates—is unlikely to amuse your child.
10. As fun as campus tours are, make time for some non-college related fun while traveling with your son or daughter—the days go by too quickly!

Share your college visiting suggestion, faux pas or incident... comment below.

The Third Night: It's the Thought that Counts

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The excuses started with the morning alarm clock.

“I just want to remind you that I work at home on Fridays, so I won’t have many interactions for sharing something nice,” my husband announced as he stepped out of bed.

“You’ll see your family, “I responded, “we count too".

As it turned out, I was the one who ended up grasping for moments of kindness given. I had plenty of kindnesses received, rushing home late from work, getting a friendly smile and a helpful suggestion from a shop owner, being able to call my husband at the last minute to pick up my daughter, a truck driver letting me cut across to make my exit. But I apparently was in a receiving mode, not a giving mode as I grasped for 3, just 3, kindnesses given— how hard could this be? I looked for drivers who weren’t getting a break in traffic to pull out, shoppers who needed a door opened, I even stopped to pick up fresh scones for my family - all sold out by late in the day!

On that last try, my daughter told me, "It's the thought that counts mom, so that counts as a kindness."

When we stood around the menorah and listened to each others' kindnesses, again seeing the glimpses of gloves shared on a cold day, or thoughtful encouragement to a classmate, I realized we all have moments or days of receiving and moments of giving. It’s not that one is harder to see or acknowledge than the other, at least for me. It is that life is bumpy. Often there are caring words I can share, or a hand I can offer, but sometimes I am the thankful recipient of an extra smile or a driver’s courtesy or a daughter’s hug. The kindnesses of others keep my glass full.

Quick Tips for Writing a Camper

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The rest bell rings and campers race to the mailboxes to see what awaits. Samantha Saylor arrives first and grabs the stack of envelopes from the S box, quickly reading through the addressee names.

“Santos, Smith, Santos, Strickland, Surrey, Santos, Smith, Shen, finally Saylor!, Santos, Santos, how many friends and family does Santos have?!, Shen, Sargent, another one for Saylor, Santos, Steinberg, Santos”

Samantha hands the stack to the anxiously awaiting Strickland and heads off with her two letters. The high point of mail time has passed—sorting through the envelopes and finding the envelopes with her name on them. Even opening and reading the mail can’t eclipse the excitement of reading through the addressee names.

So take this as your first tip in writing your camper—mail, any mail, is better than no mail. And the contents of the letter or postcard are far less important than the fact that correspondence has been received. Still, writing about your commute to work, or grocery shopping will pale in comparison to a note including a funny story about trying to pick blueberries in the rain or fixing the leaky faucet and getting soaked in the process.

Here are some quick tips for writing your camper this summer:

1. Write short, frequent letters rather than long occasional notes
2. Include interesting flat items such as a newspaper comic or a photo
3. Sprinkle in a few riddles
4. Take some time to doodle
5. Include a short, funny story. Nothing happened on your commute to work or in your office? Find a few short jokes to include (there are plenty to be found on-line) or relate a story from your childhood.
6. Comment on your camper’s most recent letter—great job on learning how to serve in tennis or how cool that her cabin mate is from Montana.
7. Include a game like hang man, tic tac toe, or 20 questions on a second sheet of paper that the two of you can send back and forth over the summer to play.
8. Remember to write so your camper can read—many of the under 12 set cannot read cursive and that goes for many teens as well these days. 4 paragraphs of loopy handwriting will quickly be scanned for the signature at the end.

P.S. post scripts and post post scripts are always a big hit!