The grocery parking lot is large enough to require number markers placed on poles to help shoppers locate their cars. Okay, it’s not airport size, or even a Costco, but we’re not talking a dinky grocery store. So on a busy Wednesday morning, I did expect more than 2 check-out lanes, especially with a four cart line-up at each of those lanes. Thinking the intercom would crackle with, “would all available cashiers please report to the front of the store” at any moment, I considered briefly waiting in line. But I quickly discerned that no one had any intention of summoning additional cashiers.
Fine, I decided, I’ll use the self-scan lane—3 were open and only 2 in use. I am no novice at self-scanning, I use it occasionally in the grocery when I’m running in for a few items and I’ve scanned my share of light switch plates and grommets at Home Depot. However, these self-scanners seemed intent on foiling my efforts and with a half full cart of groceries, the scanners had plenty of opportunity to point out my errors.
For starters, I had brought my own canvas bags. Placing these upon the ‘bagging area’ immediately caused the first scanner error. The roving clerk came over and swiped her card to clear the system. Bags in place, I started over.
Scanned orange juice, “1 dollar 99 cents”. Placed orange juice in bagging area. “Weight is not correct for item scanned. Please remove item from bagging area.” The roving clerk returned, swiped her badge and I continued.
The scanning voice kept up a non-stop patter. It broadcasted the price of every item as if shoppers in aisle 4 needed to know the price of everything I scanned. And the canvas bags apparently threw off the weight of my items in the bagging area. So price points intermingled with “weight is not correct for item scanned” as I continued to swipe and the roving clerk continued to swipe and shoppers started lining up behind me, possibly more for entertainment than for making a quick purchase. Two shoppers actually stood right behind me, watching my every move, probably thinking that if I wasn’t unnerved at the talkative scanner, then perhaps they too could self-scan and thought watching me might enlighten them in what to avoid.
It became a game. Could I scan the next item before the current item's price was broadcast? More rapid than an Olympic sprinter I grabbed two items in an attempt to scan them quickly in sequence. No go. The grated cheese bag wasn't flat enough to scan in one smooth swipe. Next I tried two yogurt containers. Success! The watching shoppers appeared quizzical at my glee.
“75 cents… weight is not correct for item scanned…please remove item from bagging area… 75 cents…2 dollars 99 cents…75 cents…” I felt elated at properly balancing three consecutive items in the bagging area.
Then came the produce. Generally, I can name all of my produce more accurately than the high school cashier, I know when I have purchased cilantro not parsley or that I selected a mango, not a large avocado. So other than the incessant “weight is not correct for item scanned. Please remove item from bagging area”, this phase did move right along. Until I got to the watermelon. Clearly the photo of the whole melon on the produce list did not match my cut and wrapped quarter melon. After ‘W’ for watermelon I tried ‘C’ for cut melon. No go. Then Q for quarter melon. Where was that roving cashier? With the line now 2 deep behind me (5 at the regular cashiers) I decided I didn’t really need the watermelon. I collected my bags and headed out.
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