Hiking Out: 2010

The Winter Solstice: Flinging Past the Sun

One of my favorite days of the year is the winter solstice—not for its long hours of dark, but for the turning point it marks as the days grow longer.

My mind turns to June and July and sitting on rocks above a lake watching the sunset, or gathering around a campfire while the sun still lingers above the distant mountains or even rising with the bugle and jumping into the lake, the sun well above the horizon. Today marks the turning point towards those long camp days.

I am so enamored of the winter solstice that I eagerly check the sunrise and sunset times to confirm that the days will indeed be lengthening come tomorrow. This isn’t as straightforward as it sounds. Math is actually required, albeit simple arithmetic. Unless I visit one of the websites that list the length of day down to the second, removing the need for any calculation at all.

The sun actually began setting later on December 15 in Boston, but sunrise also continues to occur later right on until January 6. Curiously I wonder if that has anything to do with the 12 days of Christmas, but I digress. So how is it that we experience a longer day (here in the northern hemisphere) even as sunrise continues to occur later?

Because the earth’s orbit around the sun is an ellipse and the earth is closest to the sun near the winter solstice, the earth is actually traveling faster in its orbit now than in June. So if you feel like you’re flying faster this time of year, well you are, astronomically speaking. During a single day’s revolution, the earth travels a greater distance along its orbit this time of year.

Consider that you are standing on the earth, facing directly toward the sun at point A. The earth rotates through one day and simultaneously moves along its elliptical orbit. Consequently point A after one day isn’t quite facing directly toward the sun. The earth needs to rotate a tiny bit more for A to be facing the sun again. This corresponds to the sun rising just a bit later. And at the other end of the day, the sun is still in view and the earth needs to rotate a tiny bit more before sunset is experienced. This corresponds to the sun setting just a bit later.

Tomorrow sunrise will be a bit later than today, but sunset will be later by a smidgeon more and voila, tomorrow we will have daylight for nearly a second more than today.

Tomorrow I will relish that second. As I feel myself being flung faster past the sun at greater speeds this time of year, I can look forward to slowing down during the long days of summer camp.

Nights 6 and 7—a Few Passes

My blogging for the past two menorah lighting nights mimics our ability to intentionally make occasions to offer kindnesses to others. As we went around the circle both nights, my husband and I each had a few passes. Seven kindnesses isn’t all that many. Yet I am finding it hard to keep kindnesses top of mind so that I see the opportunities to help someone out. I tell myself now that I will work harder on this the 8th and final day to be aware of sharing kindness with those around me. We’ll see if I am able to recount my kindnesses I shared today when we light the candles tonight.

On the 5th Day God Said...

And on the 5th day God said, “Stop delaying and make the brisket and latkes!”

While we have been lighting the menorah each night, we didn’t enjoy our Hanukkah repast until the 5th night, and what a meal it was! Personally, I think I could have related all of my kindness just to preparing the meal. But that seemed more than a little self-centered, so I kept my scope broad if not earth shattering.

I have noticed that not only am I looking for kindnesses (5 is a lot and 6, 7, and 8 will be even more), but I have found myself making an extra effort for the small gestures throughout my day. I have also noticed that my children have really taken this to heart. They are truly reaching out in meaningful ways, and inspiring me to make a bigger difference. As I strive to make a bigger difference, I hope my memory can keep up with the candles!

The Fourth Night: Making the World a Little Bit Brighter

The fourth day I heard, “I didn’t give any kindnesses beyond what I would do anyhow.” “I was at home all day—I didn’t have a chance to share any kindnesses.”

Clearly it was time to revisit the intent of sharing kindnesses given and kindnesses received. I didn’t intend that we would change the world, complete heroic tasks each day or oblige others to be forever indebted. I simply wanted us to be aware of what brings light into our lives and how we reflect that light. I would be delighted if most of our kindnesses shared were true gifts of kindness that we would have given had it been Hanukkah or the middle of July. I liked that with eight days we could create a habit of thankfulness and giving where one may not have existed or reinforce an awareness of the kindnesses in our lives.

Once we all were re-focused on the intent, we were much more comfortable sharing the more commonplace of kindnesses— my daughter helping me clean up, my husband baking a cake for our children, no one complaining when our afternoon plans changed at the last minute. Every day won’t bring a kindness that would turn a friend’s life around, but hopefully each day would make the world a little bit brighter even after the candle had gone out.

The Third Night: It's the Thought that Counts

The excuses started with the morning alarm clock.

“I just want to remind you that I work at home on Fridays, so I won’t have many interactions for sharing something nice,” my husband announced as he stepped out of bed.

“You’ll see your family, “I responded, “we count too".

As it turned out, I was the one who ended up grasping for moments of kindness given. I had plenty of kindnesses received, rushing home late from work, getting a friendly smile and a helpful suggestion from a shop owner, being able to call my husband at the last minute to pick up my daughter, a truck driver letting me cut across to make my exit. But I apparently was in a receiving mode, not a giving mode as I grasped for 3, just 3, kindnesses given— how hard could this be? I looked for drivers who weren’t getting a break in traffic to pull out, shoppers who needed a door opened, I even stopped to pick up fresh scones for my family - all sold out by late in the day!

On that last try, my daughter told me, "It's the thought that counts mom, so that counts as a kindness."

When we stood around the menorah and listened to each others' kindnesses, again seeing the glimpses of gloves shared on a cold day, or thoughtful encouragement to a classmate, I realized we all have moments or days of receiving and moments of giving. It’s not that one is harder to see or acknowledge than the other, at least for me. It is that life is bumpy. Often there are caring words I can share, or a hand I can offer, but sometimes I am the thankful recipient of an extra smile or a driver’s courtesy or a daughter’s hug. The kindnesses of others keep my glass full.

The Second Night: Unintended Benefits

With two candles lit we were able to go around the table fairly quickly and describe the kindnesses we had shared that day. In the process, I discovered an unintended benefit—we each got a peek into the others’ days in ways we hadn’t previously. I hadn't realized how note sharing worked in my daughter's biology class, or that her notes were particularly neat. I also heard the specifics around helping a classmate with a hard problem, and assisting a colleague with a computer issue—each painted a focused picture of a single moment in a hectic day.

Then came the kindnesses received—just one from each of us. They were harder for us to find during our day, and we each had to give it some thought as we watched the candles burning to recall when someone had reached out. I doubt that there are few kindnesses shared. So I continue to ponder why we have a harder time seeing or remembering a kind gesture shown to us than we do one given.

First Night Kindnesses

The first night we each told one kindness given and one kindness received. The only momentary pause was from my husband who said, “Two? I thought we only needed one on the first day.”

To which my younger daughter, always the mathematician, replied, “One kindness received for each Shamash candle lit and one kindness given for each candle the Shamash lights.”

“There’s always only one Shamash,” my husband responded.

“Precisely. Each night we only need to tell one kindness received, but the number of kindness we share with others will increment by one each day.”

“Okay, got it.”

The first day one of us received a book, one a kind word, one a kindness from a teacher, one a kindness from classmates holding opposing views. The first day one of us found two chairs to include two more in the circle, one held her tongue, one spent an extra 30 minutes with a student who just wanted to talk, and one I can’t remember because I was working so hard on not forgetting mine. Today I will work harder on my listening skills! Already we are talking about ‘saving’ a kindness for a day when we need 5 or 6 or 7 or 8. Hmm, that’s missing the point… seems I need to tune the goal.

Kindnesses Shared and Received

We love our ceramic menorah that we unwrap each December and fill with colorful candles each evening during Hanukkah. As the Shamash candle is lit, we begin singing the blessing in our own multi-tuned rendition. My husband wasn’t schooled in religious tunes, or if he was didn’t retain them. And my religious tunes are limited to Herald Angels and Little Towns. Consequently, our prayer sounds much like a smaller rendition of Hogwarts school song.

Each of the 8 nights we add an additional candle, sing our prayer and enjoy the menorah for a moment or through dinner or while homework is being done. We love to watch the candle lights flickering and speculate where all that wax ends up. But we rarely focus long on the Maccabees or the blessings we remember in our own lives.

This year I thought we could think about what brings light into our lives and how we reflect that light. Each day of Hanukkah, we will each be observant for kindnesses we share and kindnesses we receive. Then when we light the candles we will each share a kindness from that day for each candle lit—one kindness each on the first night, two the second night and so forth. I imagine that this will be fairly straightforward on day one. However, I presume that by day 4 or 5 we will have to work to not just remember what we have done that day (for some of us a harder task these days than for others), but we will need actively be observant for moments when we can offer a kindness— from a word, to a hand, to a hug. I am sure it will take concentration to look for opportunities. Perhaps we will hold open a door or let the shopper with just one item to purchase step in line in front of us, or even refrain from a disparaging remark that was clamoring to be spoken. Eight is such a good number for creating a habit of being observant to where we can give a kindness and be mindful of saying thank you when we receive a kindness.

Stay tuned and I’ll let you know how well this works or doesn’t. Let me know what traditions you enjoy in December to show thanks for what you have received or be cognizant of what you share.

Let the Great World Spin Book Group Discussion Guide

Let The Great World Spin Discussion Guide

By Colum McCann

I enjoy leading book groups. When I lead, I write up a discussion guide to use. Feel free to ask your own questions or discuss your own observations or reactions in the comments section.

I have moved this discussion guide to my new blog, Group Reads which is a collection of discussion guides. You can find a guide for this book at Group Reads: Let The Great World Spin.

Stop by and see what other guides might interest you!

You Can Hide, but You Can't Run

Thanksgiving Day came and went with surprising little, family discord. So here I am relying on my faux pas over the last 2 days to sum up lessons learned while I was being thankful for those moments outside the all important thanks for family, freedom, peace, education and nourishment.

If I wash and dry my daughter's sweatshirt with her iPod in the pocket, the iPod will still work but all of the lyrics come out clean. I am thankful that some Apple engineer probably engineered this to work even if it's not advertised.

$2 hand warmers cost $3 when 10,000 cold people are waiting around before the Thanksgiving 5K race, unless you are the first customer.

iPods were made for the day after Thanksgiving:

You don’t need to listen to non-stop ads pushing Black Friday deals
They are perfect for taking on a walk to burn off the Thanksgiving Feast
Even if it’s raining you can plug in your ear buds and tune out any lingering family acrimony

Salt not only makes bread taste good, it also helps the rising. Corollary, four loaves of unsalted bread makes a lot of unsalted breadcrumbs.

Apple butter is a misnomer— it's really apple jelly. And it makes unsalted bread tasty! I am thankful for my niece's thoughtfulness in creating a fabulous gift basket just because.

In laser tag, you can hide, but you can't run.

Guidelines for Easy to Understand Technical Writing

Where did techies learn to write?! I like mysteries to have twists and surprises; I like novels to develop character and place; I like biographies to delve into history (actually I don’t like biographies). But I don’t want technical analysis or product descriptions to meander, use vague, ill-defined terms or stick to generalities. Tech blogs and articles need to get to the point.

There are plenty of bad examples out there from a myriad of independent blogs to some of the comments posted to widely read blogs. Rather than focus on the bad examples I come across daily doing research, here are two of my favorite good examples of technical writing:

David Pogue in nearly any of his blog posts http://pogue.blogs.nytimes.com/ lists what he does and doesn’t like in clear terms. He even wrote a whole post on tech terms he avoids (http://pogue.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/16/tech-terms-to-avoid/#more-560 ) .

Wired Magazine, http://www.wired.com/wired/ , consistently publishes clear articles. Not only do they use understandable prose, they have outstanding graphic artists who create charts and diagrams that intrigue anyone who loves visualizing data.

Granted Pogue and the Wired Magazine writers are paid to write, so they have an economic interest in writing well and have had a lot of practice. Still with a few simple precepts, even a geek with limited linguist ability can make his or her point more effectively.

Three guidelines:

Give specific examples
Only use terms that are well understood by your readers
Use bullet points and lists wherever possible, or at least introduce your points with terms such as first, second and third.

I will try to keep all three in mind before my next post or technical comment on a Pogue column.

Brilliant, Long Lasting Fall in New England

This is the longest lasting color I can remember in New England in a long time...

Teaching Moments from an Argument

Attempting to turn a political argument with my brother into a teaching moment for my children is difficult. For starters there’s my personal passion; add that to the baggage we’re carrying around as siblings and I’m way over the limit for any domestic or international travel.

Silver linings, I tell myself. Perhaps tangled in the stress radiating from my heart there is a kernel of a teaching moment to share with my children.

For starters, there’s what I have learned about have an effective argument, er, debate— everything from knowing my opponent to getting my facts straight to knowing when to stop so I don’t permanently damage the relationship. That seems like useful knowledge to pass on to my children, but it doesn’t seem to be key to making the world a better place.

There’s the “let’s learn from our mistakes” pitch. This would amount to me saying that passionate, heated arguments aren’t the only way to exchange different points of view. Somehow, I think showing them a more effective exchange of ideas rather than telling them would be a better teaching tool.

Perhaps I should focus on the whole package of world views. How did two children raised in the same family end up with such disparate views? Oh, wait, that’s my baggage, not what I want to impart to my kids.

What I want to do is to have a positive influence on my children’s world views. To help set their moral compass, to teach them how to gather, evaluate and analyze information in making decisions and to provide a foundation in forming beliefs and standing up for their beliefs.

And of course, there’s the value of a family relationship as great or as dysfunctional as it may be. I believe there is almost always value in maintaining a family connection. So mostly I want to tell them to know when to reset; to learn when the relationship is more important than the ideal.

Parenting to do list:

talk with my children about resolving disagreements and standing up for your beliefs
engage in disagreements with individuals who can remain calm—have dinner with my kids and family friends with different political views during the week around election day
listen to my children when they are wrestling with their own decision making, help them with the process more than the content.
support my children in their efforts to stand up for their beliefs
be respectful in my disagreements with them
end disagreements without slamming down the phone and, if I’m feeling really good, with an invitation to dinner!

In the end, my analysis is in fact self-analysis— more instructional for me than my kids.

Family Politics

I fear my extended family is a microcosm of the political distrust and antagonism our country is facing today. I will try to present this without bias, but as I clearly represent one side of the political spectrum, I am sure that some of family members will vociferously denounce my objectivity. Fortunately, the most vocal of all, also has huge privacy hang-ups so is quite unlikely to leave comments in all caps following this blog. So we can keep our ranting and ravings confined to the holiday dinner table and the more and more infrequent phone calls.

The right-leaning among us watch Fox news and expound upon its objectivity. The left-leaning among us listen to NPR and say it presents news impartially.

“Well then”, the rightist replies, “you should listen to what Juan Williams had to say on Fox after he was fired, have you heard?”

”No, because I don’t watch Fox news,” the liberal retorts, “and clearly anyone who has just been fired is going to be angry at his former employer and not present unbiased facts.”

“Ah ha,” says the radical right, “you can’t make that judgment without watching his commentary, because he only presented facts!”

“Yes, but did he present ALL the facts?” the leftist responds. ”It’s easy to leave some facts out which in and of itself is bias. He could easily have presented only the facts that showed NPR to be in the wrong and Fox to be in the right.”

“Facts are facts. Listen to what he said and you’ll hear how biased NPR is.”

How did we get here, I wonder to myself. I thought we were talking about our children’s high school classes. I ponder the trip we took, let’s see, from high school classes, to leveling among students, to government being involved in education, to Carter creating the Department of Education, to Obama being a radical socialist, to Bush spending billions on a needless war in Iraq, to Clinton leaving office with a surplus to Reagan getting America on the right track and building a robust economy. Not sure how Juan Williams came up, other than the obvious that he’s currently in the news.

I sigh. “Well you are still welcome for dinner Saturday.”

“You sure?” my brother responds, “you can take back the invitation.”

“No, no, I’d like to see you. Let’s just not talk politics.”

Unfortunately, in the state houses across the country as in Washington D.C., they have nothing else to discuss, but politics. And as in my political discussion with my brother, no one is willing to compromise, no one is willing to bend, no one is even able to cede one point to their adversary. Those in office must internalize significant stress daily if they feel anything like I do after hanging up the phone. In the time we spoke, no, make that argued, no one, not me, not my brother, not any elected official has done one thing to make the world a better place, to bring enlightenment, even simply to extend an olive branch. Maybe my brother will get the hint if I serve olives with dinner. Oh wait, he hates olives. Therein lies the problem.

Suture Necessity: Humor

Humor is a great accompaniment to receiving sutures. As the physician assistant sutured my finger laceration, he told me this was his third career (not humorous) and told me about his experience slicing his own finger (very humorous).

I had ended up on the receiving end of the needle and thread by carelessly attempting to slice frozen bread with a very sharp knife and without a cutting board—something I have been told on multiple occasions not to do. Maybe this time the lesson will stick.

As I tightly gripped my pointer finger against my thumb, my daughter ran for a bandage and extolled the virtues of applying pressure and using elevation in such situations. I had no desire to release my finger as I’m not a fan of watching blood pour out of my hands. But when I finally got the nerve to take a peak at the incision, I knew immediately that a Band-aid brand adhesive wasn’t going to cut it so to speak.

I headed to the ER, my husband cleverly picking the older car to drive in case I was dripping blood, although my daughter had thoughtfully handed me an old bath towel to wrap my hand in just to avoid difficult to remove bloodstains.

“Well, I hope the chili you made for dinner is bloody good,” my husband commented wryly as we sat waiting in the ER. Doubtful we would get any tonight as the waiting room was mostly full and no one was moving anywhere quickly.

The admitting nurse thoughtfully asked if my finger was still attached (which it was) while my daughter texted me to take the pressure off and get the blood flow going to move up my place in the ER line. As the TV show Chuck was about to start, I was okay sitting in the waiting room for a bit and watching TV. So I kept the pressure applied as my hand began leaking blood onto my towel wrap. Unfortunately halfway through Chuck, someone decided that the assorted menagerie of patients would prefer Monday night football and switched channels. I think we should have taken a vote and raising a bloody hand should have counted extra. In any case, I missed the second half of Chuck and so I have no idea if Chuck and Sarah managed to capture the bad guy or not. Now it was clearly time to remove the pressure and get seen sooner rather than later.

In the examining room, the nurse told me that day old blood stains were as hard to remove from crevices around fingernails as from white Ts. I didn’t believe her, but was glad she thoroughly cleaned my hand in any case.

Then after a lengthy wait with only the sound of a screaming child in the background, a physician’s assistant came in for suturing. Apparently only on Grey’s Anatomy do plastic surgeons hang around the ER.

“So do you know how to sew?” I asked.

“She means can you sew well,” my husband clarified.

He didn’t answer directly but did tell us about the time he cut his finger on a bread knife at a salad bar, tossed the knife and bread behind the salad bar and then while walking over to meet his friends at their table, passed out in the middle of the restaurant where everyone, but his friends saw him go down.

Clearly he had empathy as well as a more entertaining story. Guess I’ll find out if he also can sew when I get these 5 sutures removed.

Garden Issues

The weeds in my garden have roots in New England that rival the descendants of the Mayflower. My lavender sends shoots up everywhere including right in the middle of my miniature rose plant which is about the size of a softball (decidedly not a bush). My coneflower is, literally, one foot tall. Just when the phlox bloom in their glorious bright pink, their shaky stems decide it’s just too much and they collapse onto the walkway or rest upon the browning yarrow, that I am sure I just deadheaded yesterday.

My garden will clearly never be on a garden tour; it continually confounds me. Yet I love it. Each year in July I tell myself that I really should just uproot the lupine—their brown, crinkly leaves and dried tubular stalks are unappealing, and the phlox behind which I attempted to hide them were taken down by a white powdery fungus. Yet I let the lupine thrive, and the following May as I watch their perfect star shaped leaves hold drops of water after the rain, and their flowers turn from green to pink, top to bottom, I wonder how I could have harbored such destructive thoughts. Then the aphids show up and although I reconsider, I let the lupine alone. Or my Rudbeckia flowers in profusion and within days needs to be deadheaded, leaving its hairy brown stems behind.

Last summer I nurtured my stunted plants along and was rewarded with buds ready to burst into cascades of color. Each morning as I excitedly approached my garden, not a speck of color could be seen. Every bud about to burst had been chomped off by a voracious deer. Then this summer, knock on wood, my buds have all been left alone to unfold into brilliant color. Did the deer take an alternate route? Did it find better grazing grounds where it didn’t have to reach down quite so far to nab a tasty bud?

I would continue to expound about the frustrations and gifts from my garden, but a giant foxtail is creeping in the window and tapping on my shoulder.

Quick Tips for Writing a Camper

The rest bell rings and campers race to the mailboxes to see what awaits. Samantha Saylor arrives first and grabs the stack of envelopes from the S box, quickly reading through the addressee names.

“Santos, Smith, Santos, Strickland, Surrey, Santos, Smith, Shen, finally Saylor!, Santos, Santos, how many friends and family does Santos have?!, Shen, Sargent, another one for Saylor, Santos, Steinberg, Santos”

Samantha hands the stack to the anxiously awaiting Strickland and heads off with her two letters. The high point of mail time has passed—sorting through the envelopes and finding the envelopes with her name on them. Even opening and reading the mail can’t eclipse the excitement of reading through the addressee names.

So take this as your first tip in writing your camper—mail, any mail, is better than no mail. And the contents of the letter or postcard are far less important than the fact that correspondence has been received. Still, writing about your commute to work, or grocery shopping will pale in comparison to a note including a funny story about trying to pick blueberries in the rain or fixing the leaky faucet and getting soaked in the process.

Here are some quick tips for writing your camper this summer:

Write short, frequent letters rather than long occasional notes
Include interesting flat items such as a newspaper comic or a photo
Sprinkle in a few riddles
Take some time to doodle
Include a short, funny story. Nothing happened on your commute to work or in your office? Find a few short jokes to include (there are plenty to be found on-line) or relate a story from your childhood.
Comment on your camper’s most recent letter—great job on learning how to serve in tennis or how cool that her cabin mate is from Montana.
Include a game like hang man, tic tac toe, or 20 questions on a second sheet of paper that the two of you can send back and forth over the summer to play.
Remember to write so your camper can read—many of the under 12 set cannot read cursive and that goes for many teens as well these days. 4 paragraphs of loopy handwriting will quickly be scanned for the signature at the end.

P.S. post scripts and post post scripts are always a big hit!

10 Reasons to Send Your Daughter to Summer Camp

At Summer Camp...

Friendships last a lifetime.

When the heat wave hits there’s a cool lake to dive into!

Campfires can’t be beat when shared.

It’s easy to find a quiet place to read a book,

Or a busy place to play with buddies.

Learning how to live with others is essential.

There’s a great sense of accomplishment in learning a new skill

Or in achieving a goal together.

The nights are as spectacular as the days.

But most importantly, every child should have the opportunity to soar!

Looking for answers to your summer camp questions? Check out the summer camp blog !

The Outer Banks in Two Days

You could easily spend a week or a month or a lifetime in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, but if you’re driving from Florida to Maine, don’t drive inland—enjoy the Outer Banks! Here is a two day itinerary, from South to North with one night in Buxton.

Advance Planning:

Book a night in Morehead City, NC. This is the last town with decent lodging before the ferry landing (a one hour drive). The Hampton Inn is good quality and right on the water.
Book ferry reservations on the morning Cedar Island to Ocracoke Ferry http://www.ncdot.org/ferry/
Make hotel/motel reservations in Buxton—not a lot to choose from and they fill fast in the summer
Pack your beach towels and bathing suits!

Day 1: Ferry to Ocracoke, Ferry to Buxton

The drive from Morehead City to the Cedar Island Ferry landing is about 1 hour without traffic. Get to the ferry landing at the time requested or you could lose your spot! The ferry ride itself is about 2 ¼ hours. There are a couple of seats with tables indoors, but these fill immediately. So bring books or games that don’t need much space or spend your time on deck looking for fishing boats.

Ocracoke is a tiny, compact town. Pick up an Ocracoke Island brochure at any North Carolina visitor center (including the one on the island). Stop by the Ocracoke lighthouse. There is only parking for a few cars, so if it’s busy you’ll need to wait. If your kids like pirate stories, they abound in this area. Look for pirate references throughout the islands.

For coffee or cinnamon buns definitely stop by the Ocracoke Coffee Co. Excellent coffee, tasty snacks and comfy indoor and outdoor seating— what more could a coffee shop offer? Pick up sandwiches for a beach picnic at the Sweet Tooth and Fig Tree Bakery or Back Porch Lunchbox.

From Ocracoke drive north to the Ferry to Hatteras, stopping along the way for a picnic and a swim. There are several places to access the beach along route 12, so take a break and enjoy the isolated beaches—few people, lots of sand and surf! There is also the Pony Pens along the drive where you can stop to see descendents of the horses that once roamed the island. The ferry to Hatteras does not require a reservation. It is first come, first serve.

Once in Hatteras you can rent kayaks, head to the beaches or climb the lighthouse. The lighthouse lines can be long. If you go first thing in the morning (tomorrow) you are likely to have less of a wait. If your family enjoys maritime history stop by the Graveyard of the Atlantic Museum right by the ferry landing. This very small museum has exhibits on the treacherous waterways along the Outer Banks, shipwrecks and piracy. It also had an exhibit on German subs in World War 2 and the use of air power to sink battleships.

Day 2: Enjoy the National Seashore, Kitty Hawk, Drive North

Start your day early with a visit to the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse. You can climb the 248 stairs to the top for an excellent view. Stop by the visitor’s center where you can view the binders on moving the light house. Kids and adults will be fascinated by the rail and hydraulic system put in place to move the lighthouse further inland (to protect it from the eroding beach) in 1999.

From the lighthouse continue north on route 12. Again there are plenty of places to stop and enjoy the beaches. For a short walk stop at the Pea Island National Wildlife Refuge. You can and should borrow binoculars from the visitor center there. The bird life is most abundant in the spring and fall migrations and during the cooler morning and evening hours, but you are sure to see egrets even in the middle of the day.

An alternative, or additional, walk takes you to the top of the highest dune east of the Mississippi River in Jockey’s Ridge State Park. The ever shifting sand dunes are great for kite flying, dune jumping and taking in the view. There is also a hang gliding school which offers 3 hour lessons in beginning gliding as well as more advanced lessons.

Just a bit further north on Route 12 is the Wright Brothers National Memorial. Small children will enjoy the Jr. Ranger Program and ALL will enjoy the outstanding talk the rangers give on the first flight. Both the indoor talk which is given frequently and the twice daily outdoor program are thoroughly worth attending.

If you have time for one final stop before leaving the Outer Banks, stop at the visitor center in Kitty Hawk to see the Monument to a Century of Flight. See if your kids can find when Amelia Earhart flew, or the moon landing, or when the U.S. post office established air mail service.

Quite a bit to enjoy in just two days—your family will certainly want to return for a longer visit!

whispers of slavery

"And behind the house is the kitchen and 'slave' quarters," our guide told us, whispering the word 'slave' as if its mere utterance might offend, or worse, in some way impugn the good name of the white descendants of Charleston slave-owners. When I further questioned about the slave quarters and numbers living at the Edmondston-Alston House, it was as if the very white (from the roots of her hair to her pale legs peeking out from below her skirt) docent hadn't heard me.

Then when I asked how a merchant in the 1800s could have 6 children and not even one married, I was met with a cool stare that seemed to say, "we don't talk about that dear," as her lips intoned, "no, none were married. Now notice how the interior shutters could cover the windows to keep out the sunlight."

Her reticence to utter the word slave, let alone discuss the horrendous history of slavery in Charleston stood in sharp contrast to our carriage tour guide, Matt. Matt spoke factually and at length about Charleston's influence on slavery in the United States as one of the first major slave trading ports. He told us how the rich rice merchants made a fortune selling rice to England, then returned to South Carolina via Africa where they loaded their ships with Africans to sell as slaves upon returning to Charleston harbor. He pointed out the barbed ironwork adorning several fences surrounding the majestic entryways to antebellum mansions. Matt claimed that the barbs were there for protection in case of a slave uprising and informed us that the ratio of blacks to whites in Charleston was 2:1 preceding the Civil War. The rice plantation owners, with townhouses in Charleston, lived in constant fear of a slave revolt.

Which historical perspective did each tour guide believe to be an accurate history lesson? Did our historical home tour guide really believe that slavery was an inconsequential element of the town home owned by Charles Alston? It surprises me that nearly 150 years following the Civil War, docents in the south could still have difficulty discussing slavery. For my historical edification, I am thankful that at least some, and possibly most, tour guides are able to honestly present the facts of slavery without resorting to a whisper.

People Watching in Charleston

Where are all the men? That is what we wondered as we enjoy our window-side table at Magnolia's in Charleston, South Carolina. We look around the restaurant and are astounded by the number of groups of women- mostly young women. Then we begin to notice groups of 6 to 8 young women outside the restaurant as well- some strolling by, one group arriving in a limousine, one group departing.

What is particularly striking is that each group has a unifying 'theme'. The 6 women walking on the opposite side of the street are all wearing tight black dresses and dangerously high heels for the uneven sidewalks they are negotiating. The 7 women departing the restaurant are ALL wearing pink, strapless dresses. Pink may be in around here, but it seems more than an odd coincidence that 7 young women going out together would all wear pink! And one is even wearing a pink sash- like a Miss America sash without any text.

As we look, out the window, two identical green cabs pull up. As each passenger steps out one at a time, we can clearly see the group is all young women, but no unifying theme grabs our attention. Then each pulls out an oversized black hat (okay, one is black and white stripe, maybe that was all she had in her closet) and places it smartly on her head. Okay what is up? Our speculation begins...

Could they be debutantes? Well, they do look like they need to learn to walk more confidently (or a least stablly) in heels, but they appear a bit old for debutantes and are decidedly lacking a chaperone. Young women on a treasure hunt? A city-wide treasure hunt for women? None appears to actually be looking for anything. No, they are engaged in animated conversation with one another. Ah ha-- they must be here for a sorority convention! Sorority sisters from colleges across the country have alighted in Charleston, SC for their annual convention. They would likely go out to dinner with sisters from their college and perhaps each school was asked to dress alike as part of the weekend's festivities. My husband and I are feeling pretty confident about our detective work. Unfortunately, upon closer inspection (we have plenty of time for closer inspection as one particularly animated group is giggling, chatting and posing for photos right in front of our window) we see that none is wearing a sorority membership pin. Surely one would be proudly wearing her Greek insignia.

Just as they enter the restaurant, another group of women comes walking down the street, this group each wearing a flowered sundress and one in the middle has her long blonde hair pulled back with a wedding veil! Ah Ha!!! These are bachelorette parties! Guess the bachelors found alternative sources of entertainment. But honestly, if young men in Charleston were in the know, they would take a walk on East Bay Street in Charleston in June. Surely some of these young women are still looking for a date to take to the wedding.

Homeschooling on the Road for Everyone

“You never want to take an RV trip, right?” came somewhere between, “You want to have kids, right?” and “no mushrooms on pizza, right?” in our pre-marriage assessment of our compatibility. We both responded with a resounding, “No, not me, tent camping, great, an RV definitely not.”

Well two kids later and a decade of enjoying mushroom-free pizza and there we were driving on the Mass Pike in a 29 foot RV, starting out on a 7 week journey around the country.2 out of 3, not bad.

In hindsight, our 2 month RV exploration of the U.S. was one of the best experiences we have ever enjoyed as a family—and one we wholeheartedly recommend to anyone seeking time with your family learning about the expansive country we inhabit.

So how did we come to find ourselves debating a drive-through campsite versus a back-in campsite at RV campgrounds around the country? We had often mused about traveling around the country as a family and after talking to friends who had taken similar trips, we broke our vow of no RV trips and started researching the choice between a Class C and a Class A while picking up lingo such as 5^th wheel and 30 amp hookup. Simultaneously we considered the merits of withdrawing our children from elementary and middle school for 2 months and home schooling them on the road, or opting for a summer trip. The summer meant more national parks would be accessible and there would be more amenities at campgrounds. Spring or summer, what better way for all four of us to learn about our country, our culture, our natural resources than first hand. In the end we decided to go in the spring to give us a chance to home school for a short time span as well as be able to spend more time in the desert (although less time in the mountains).

Our next step was to outline a basic route. I bought a large map of the United States, tacked it up on a bulletin board and the whole family had fun adding push pins to destinations of interest—everything from National Parks to friends’ homes, from a cool space museum to an ancestor’s home. I also wanted to incorporate destinations that integrated well with the curriculum I had created including the Civil War, the geology of caves, and regions of the country. Our daughters connected the push pins with a string, mimicking a possible driving route around the country. As the number of push pins escalated beyond 100 and the string started resembling a high frequency sound wave more than a smooth oval, we realized we had selected sufficient potential sites to visit and must narrow them down. Eliminating places like Big Bend National Park (too far off a reasonable route) or Yellowstone (closed in the spring) wasn’t easy, but we knew we had to stay within our time constraint of 7 weeks and create time to experience our destinations, not just drive through them.

By the time March 3, our date to pick up the RV, rolled around, we had a rudimentary route outline, a full home-schooling plan, bags full of AAA maps, and a web site to blog our adventures. At the RV rental agency Wendy, our rental specialist, gave us the full tour of our new home for the next 2 months making sure to emphasis that cruise control is not the equivalent of auto pilot. She showed us the RV systems which my husband noted carefully, while I, on the other hand, entered her 800 number into my cell phone and made a mental note that we wanted to stay at a campground with staff for our first camping experience. We realized we needed to factor in additional time to ‘camp’: time to change the oil, buy septic deodorizers, make campsite reservations and of course, time to de-winterize the RV (after all we were leaving New England in March, we couldn’t have running water until we were far enough south to keep the water from freezing). With the tour of systems over I was beyond excited and equally nervous!

Now it seemed to me it was time for the driving lesson. What? No lesson?! We just hop in and go? You’re kidding, right? Wrong, that’s it; we were set (yeah right). My husband would drive the RV home while I would follow in our car. He got in the cab and was there awhile, I presumed adjusting the seat and mirrors, double checking driving controls etc. Then he got out of cab and went into rental office. When he returned with the serviceman. I stepped out of the car with a quizzical look. “Just learning how to operate the radio,” he called to me. “The radio! I hardly think you should be listening to the radio for your first RV driving experience!” Don’t worry, no problem, … and we were off!

Religion From Whose Perspective?

2000 years of Christian history in an hour—I was intrigued, my husband was skeptical. While 2000 years in one hour sounded like a tall order for one morning’s worship, I thought it would be a good review for me of the major events in Christianity.

I was not disappointed— we heard short synopses of the Romans in 200 AD, Celtics in the 700s, Italy in 1250, Germany and Martin Luther, biblical story telling among slaves in Alabama, and last Protestantism in New England in 2010. A brief survey to be certain, but a peek at a few moments in time across two millenniums offered a sacred centering.

When I returned home I shared my fulfillment with my husband.

“So, I doubt the Spanish Inquisition was included”, he mused.

“No, but the Celtics were.”

“And the crusades?”

“Well, no but the history of indulgences was”

“Clearly a Protestant church would need to include that,” he responded.

Oh right, good point. How does my husband know more about ‘my’ religion’s history than I? And was I insufficiently skeptical of everything I had heard that morning? I thought I knew a reasonable amount about my religious community of which I had been a member since birth

As with most historical teaching, mine has been colored by learning it from within. Just as Southerners may get one perspective of the Civil War and Northerners another, or European Americans one view of settling the United States and American Indians quite a different perspective, so do we each take our own slant on our history by learning it from within. I notice this even when I listen to the BBC and hear their perspective on American news stories. Intentional or not we are all biased in our historical view of our own culture.

Yet perhaps this biased perspective is nowhere more apparent than in our religions. How often the passion and fervor of faith makes it more difficult to have a civil conversation over the history of a religion. Wouldn’t we all benefit by hearing how our faith is viewed by others of differing faiths?

Two Days in London with Teenagers

London is an outstanding city for a family. Here is a two day itinerary that can easily be stretched into 3 days if you spend more time walking around.

Hotel: Crowne Plaza Kensington—highly recommend for a family. Two double beds and a sufficiently large room allow a family of 4 to share one room. Also, it is just half a block from the Underground and there are 4 quick casual breakfast spots within 5 blocks.

Day 1: Speaker’s Corner, Double Decker Buses, Tower of London, Millennium Bridge, Globe Theatre and/or Saint Paul’s Cathedral

Plan Ahead:

Buy a family ticket for the Tower of London in advance to save time at the Tower.

Start with breakfast outside the hotel. The Patisserie across from the Gloucester Road underground serves full English breakfasts in a casual atmosphere.

Take a double decker bus (or Underground for quicker transport) from Kensington to Marble Arch. Walk into Hyde Park and listen to the myriad of speakers you are likely to see on their upturned crates at Speaker’s Corner.

Continue your journey via double decker bus to the Tower of London. Although it takes much longer to travel on the bus than on the underground, you will get a great view of the heart of London through the West End, Picadilly Circus, by Saint Paul’s cathedral along the Thames to the White Tower. Sit upstairs and if the front seats open up—sit there! The view is not to be missed—my teenagers wanted to keep riding the bus.

At the Tower of London take a tour with a beefeater (officially known as a yeoman warder). Their theatrics and stories will delight everyone. Have lunch at the New Armouries Restaurant in the Tower which has a terrific selection of food that managed to accommodate the varied dietary requests of our entire family from scones and cream to fresh vegetables and hot meals. While at the Tower be sure to see the Queen’s jewels, the exhibits in the white tower, walk along the ramparts and consider seeing the many other exhibits listed in the brochures available upon entry. You are likely to want to spend 3 hours at the Tower including lunch.

If time permits visit Shakespeare’s Globe for a tour. Otherwise, simply enjoy walking along the Thames taking in the bridges from the Tower Bridge to the Millennium Bridge up to Saint Paul’s Cathedral.

For dinner head to the West End where there are plenty of restaurants to choose among.

Day 2: Clock Tower, Westminster Abbey, Churchill Museum and Cabinet War Rooms, Changing of the Guards, London Eye, Walk along Thames, Tea and a show

Plan Ahead:

Check the time and day for the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace. Times vary winter to summer. And only occurs on alternate days during the winter.
Buy tickets for the London Eye on-line to save time and money
Make reservations for tea late in the day
Get tickets for a show in advance or take your chance at half price tickets once you arrive in London

Take the underground to Westminster for beautiful views of the houses of Parliament—the clock tower which houses Big Ben is particularly striking. From here walk to Westminster Abbey (often a long line) or the Churchill War Rooms (much less crowded). Both are fabulous. The Churchill War Rooms are the actually rooms used by Churchill and his staff during the war to plan their war strategy. It is nearly precisely as it was the day the staff left at the conclusion of World War II and turned off the lights. Large maps with push pins fill the walls, telephones, desks, beds, even the cigarette lighter and saved sugar cubes are all as they were over 50 years ago.

From here walk down to Buckingham Palace. If you arrive late and the crowds have filled in, then head out to the statue of Queen Victoria. From here you can watch the guards march in from 2 sides then walk around to the front of the statue where you can stand on tiptoes to see the proceedings over the heads of the crowd. The police do not want visitors climbing on the statues so take note.

Following the changing of the guards you may have time for a ride on the London Eye before lunch. Even my older teen who thought it was too touristy was pleasantly surprised at the outstanding views and cool photographic angles from the London Eye. The views alone help reinforce the layout of the city and you point out where you have visited and where you’re headed.

Walk along the Thames towards the Golden Jubilee Bridge celebrating the Queen’s 50 year as queen. You can find an EAT along here for lunch, street performers if the weather is nice and people watching in general. Stroll through Gabriel’s Wharf for some artistic shopping. When you’re walked out, head back to the hotel to change for tea.

For a splurge, afternoon tea at fancy hotel in London is gastronomically outstanding as well as offering a relaxing time to talk with your children – ah the pleasures of a family vacation. The Goring Hotel offers fabulous service and an outstanding selection of tea treats all in a beautiful tea room. The price is steep, but in line with prices elsewhere. We actually found it to be less than tea at Fortnum and Mason’s which lacks in the intimate ambiance of the Goring.

Following tea, you can make your way to an evening of theater or enjoy walking along the Thames for the evening.

Optional Day if you have just arrived on a red eye:

Take the Thames River Boat to Greenwich. There are a number of river boats on the Thames. The advantage of the commuter boat is that tickets cost less and if your children are tired and want to nap, there is less intrusive PA talking (of course they do still announce each stop). Taking the boat to Greenwich gives you 45 minutes or so to relax and watch London passing. There are plenty of sites to point out along the way including the houses of Parliament, the London Eye, Shakespeare Globe Theatre, the Tower of London and all of the amazing bridges.

In Greenwich walk around the town then head for the National Maritime Museum (http://www.nmm.ac.uk) —free admission to a wonderful exhibit of maritime history. The model sailing ships and history of telling time at sea kept my sailor teenager enthralled and the state of the art ship’s bridge simulator entertained my active teen.

From the National Maritime Museum walk up the hill to the Royal Observatory, http://www.nmm.ac.uk/places/royal-observatory/, home of Greenwich Mean Time and the Prime Meridian.

If you’re tired and the weather cooperates, relax in the park on your way back to the Thames. There are plenty of places to find a good lunch in town. Then you can return via the river boat or walk under the Thames and take the DLR back to London.

Have ideas for London you would like to share? Comment on this post!

Getting The Best Value in London

Here are five ideas for saving money when traveling in London. If you have more ideas please comment and let us know!

1. Use a charge card without any international transaction fees. We used a Capital One card and got a 1 point better rate than our ATM rate and 4 to 6 points better than the conversion offered by the local merchant.

Here are some specific rates:

March 13: ATM Heathrow bought British pounds for 1.52 USD
March 13: Capital One credit card charge 1.51 USD
March 16: Harrod’s exchange rate: 1.55 USD
March 16: Capital One charge 1.51 USD
March 16: Hotel exchange rate 1.57 USD

So if you are making a purchase costing 10 British Pounds you could pay between $15.10 and $15.70 depending on your method of payment.

We did NOT use other credit cards as we have received international charges on Discover and another Visa card (don’t remember which one as we got rid of it).

2. Purchase family rate tickets where available if you are 4 or more in your family. The London Eye and the Tower of London both offer family rates.

3. The Travelcard versus Oyster Card dilemma in the underground. Travelcards are simpler and don’t require advance planning to get 15 and under discount rate. Oyster Cards will never cost more than a Travelcard. If you are making 4 or more trips a day or want the simplest option then get the Travelcard. If you’re traveling less or have time to get a child’s photo card in advance then go with the Oyster Card.

Children up to 10 years: free on the buses, trams, tubes, DLR and London Overground when traveling with an adult. But if they look older then they need an ages 5-10 Oyster photocard to travel free.

Children 11 to 15 years: Free on bus and tram BUT need an Oyster photocard (see below). Can purchase a Day Travelcard.

Children 16 and 17: Half adult-rate Oyster fares BUT need an Oyster photocard (see below).

The Oyster is the cheapest way to pay for single journeys on bus, Tube, tram, DLR, London Overground and National Rail services in London. BUT it’s more time consuming to add funds to especially if you don’t have internet access.

IMPORTANT: You need to plan ahead to get an Oyster photocard as they take awhile to process (on the order of 2 to 4 weeks).

We used daily travelcards as we took 4 rides each day. Teens up to 15 can get half price daily travel cards at the Underground ticket windows. If you take 4 or more journeys a day then a Travelcard and an Oyster card cost the same for adults.

4. See the national museums! They have free admission. We went into the National Gallery just to see a couple of paintings and then enjoyed the sunshine on Trafalgar Square.

5. If you make a large purchase to take back to the states make sure you get a form to have the VAT rebated. The vendors should have the forms and fill out most of the information. You complete your personal information and then get the form stamped when you depart the EU. At Heathrow terminal 5 look for the (slightly small) red VAT signs. We found the office is located AFTER security, but we were told there was also an office before security (never saw it).

What suggestions do you have for saving money in London? Let others know in the comments.

Cell Phone Etiquette for Kids

We can all benefit from better cell phone etiquette. So parents, it’s up to us to teach our children cell phone etiquette from the first time a child uses a cell phone.

When your child buys or receives his or her first cell phone, talk with your child about cell phone responsibility. Specifically, cell phone responsibility falls into three areas:

Cell Phone Safety: NO phone/digital use while driving. Make it clear with your child that cell phones are not to be used while driving—no talking, texting, emailing or any other digital distraction while driving is acceptable. Teach this precept when your child first starts using a phone and again when your child starts driving (presuming the phone precedes the driver’s license).
Cell Phone Etiquette: Cell-phone communication does not pre-empt in-person communication. Specifically, no phone use at a dining table, no phone use when interacting with a store clerk, carrying on a conversation with a friend or listening to a teacher.
Cell Phone Care: The cell phone is the responsibility of the owner—if it breaks or is lost it’s on you. In other words, if your child lends his or her phone to a friend and the phone is broken, dropped or used inappropriately, your child takes responsibility. Think before lending your phone

Think of it as an easy version of the S-E-X talk-- it's the S-E-C talk for cellphones. Set these cell phone habits – safety, etiquette and care—from day one and we’ll all be happier and less annoyed by inconsiderate, irresponsible cell phone users.

Subscribe to: Posts ( Atom )